Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
