I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
