i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
This is my life. Enjoy the view
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
