Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
