im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
