this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
did i just pee glitter
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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