I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
