I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
