Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
