oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I want to be your penis for a week.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
