A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
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