The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
