i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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