i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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