I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
