I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
