Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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