i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
