she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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