On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
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I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
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You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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