Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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