Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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