take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
