Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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