forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
All the doctor said was why
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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