so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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