remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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