ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
