Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
