Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
