i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
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