We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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