i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Fuck appropriateness.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
