Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
