so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
