Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
