I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
