Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
