Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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