fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
