I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
whose parrot is this?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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