I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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