I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
