GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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