omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
this boner is exhausting
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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