So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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