No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
