I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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