we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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