The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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