I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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