Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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