I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
