Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
