i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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