when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
