By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
