Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
