I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
