He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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