Your tits are I can't wait for
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize