google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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