im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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