this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
