If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
